Ok, you are getting married. You’ve got a mental image of how you think your day will go and you’ve left nothing to chance. It’s going to be absolutley perfect in every way and everything will go exactly to plan. And that is usually true – up to a point.
But, as is always the case when a group of individuals get together, you can’t control everyone’s behaviour and you’ve got to expect the unexpected. There are some people who will lower the tone of your wedding no matter what you do. Or maybe some of that stereotypical yet spontaneous (and often drunken) behaviour is exactly what you after to give your wedding an authentic feel?
As owners of a specialist mobile creperie, we’ve been hired to serve crêpes at literally hundreds of weddings over many, many years. Some of the clichés you’d expect to encounter never materialise. Some of them occur at every wedding. This particular behaviour we have only seen once – but once was enough.
It’s evening. There are no “B-list” evening guests – all the guests have been there all day and most of them have been drinking steadily (though there is nothing out of the ordinary in that.) Our crepe stand is set up next to the bar and it is a stylish, modern venue not too far from Birmingham (we can’t say any more than that). There is a short queue of people waiting for us to make their crepe and they are discussing the various menu choices.
Then, out of the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of him – and it’s always a him (at least initially). I take a second look, just to be sure. Yes, he’s done it. He’s the first person we’ve ever seen performing this particular ritual: he’s turned up his collar, loosened off his tie and moved it up to his forehead. This man has got his tie round his head.
Yes! At last! We can tick it off in our I-Spy book of wedding behaviours! We thought we’d never get to see that one.
A few wedding guests are standing by our mobile crêpe station, munching nutella pancakes. They’ve spotted him as well. They are laughing.
Woah! But wait! What’s this? The ‘man-with-his-tie-around-his-head-at-a-wedding’ count has now just doubled! There are now two of them! His friend has joined in as well!
This is better than we could have imagined. Having never witnessed this phenomenon before, we didn’t realise that it was infectious!
After a short period of observation, we conclude that the tie-round-the-head virus is capable of multiplying rapidly – there are now four – no, five -who are showing signs of infection. This is now a bona fide outbreak. We could have an epidemic on our hands!
Very soon, our worst fears are realised – the infection is capable of crossing the gender divide. We have a confirmed case of a woman in the middle of the dancefloor with her husbands tie around her head.
This is getting serious.
Now we are no experts in these situations, but we do know that good food can be an antidote to all kinds of unwanted effects. So we were happy to witness that our crepes acted as a miracle cure for this outbreak. The original carrier of the outbreak (Mr Trendsetter himself) has decided that a crêpe is what is required at this point. He orders a Bailey’s and Buttons. His tie is interfering with the eating process – it’s getting in the way of his mouth and he is getting chocolate on it. So he removes the tie. He is cured. Our pancakes cured this man of his affliction.
Very soon, all his followers (remember, he is Mr Trendsetter) form a queue at our crepe van and order the same remedy – a Baileys and Buttons pancake.
Very soon, the outbreak has been contained and ultimately it is eradicated. The former victims return to the dancefloor and have forgotten all about ties. Our work is done.
So remember – despite your plans, your wedding could easily be hijacked by unwanted influences. But as long as you hire Original Crêpes as part of your catering, you have the most effective insurance policy you can imagine.