The shock referendum result last night has sent shockwaves rippling through the entire globe and the whole political establishment. The World is no longer the same. The pound has plummeted; David Cameron has resigned; and we are finally allowed to eat straight bananas again.
But what happens from here? Nobody seems to know. The BBC is full of pundits and journalists, asking the same hypothetical questions, time after time. Sky news is full adverts interspersed with occasional interviews. And ITV is full of decorating programmes, cop shows, and Jeremy Kyle repeats.
But as this is a food blog and wedding blog combined, you are probably reading this for some kind of insight into what we think the Brexit result will mean for wedding catering. And it’s not good news, I’m afraid. In fact, it couldn’t be worse.
We have heard whispers from high-placed sources that Boris Johnson (or Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson to give him his full name) intends banning all European-style catering when he inevitably becomes Prime Minister. So out will go French crepes, Italian pizzas and German bratwurst, and in their place will come compulsory beans on toast, fish and chips and bacon sandwiches.
After decades of being told what to eat by Brussels beaurocrats, Boris has decided that it will be against the law to eat anything other than traditional British fare, with penalties doubled for failing to observe the new rules at weddings.
So this presents a slight problem to the discerning couple-to-be. Do you want your guests to be given eel pie and mash as a wedding breakfast? Or do you still want something distinctive and stylish, like a vast selection of crepes served from a mobile crepes cart at your wedding?
Now, as owners of a mobile creperie, we are slightly biased in that we think you should defy the law and choose crepes for your wedding. In fact, we think Boris should introduce an amendment to his proposals and make crepes compulsory. But we are realists and know that isn’t going to happen.
So if you want crepes at your wedding (and we think you should) there are only three courses of action remaining:
2. We rename ourselves from “Original Crêpes” to “Outlaw Crêpes”, and become a renegade wedding catering organisation, offering an illegal, underground crepe catering service.
3. Vote for Jeremy Corbyn.