So you’ve read the headline and you’ve already made up your mind. Perhaps you think Nutella is a treat to be enjoyed occasionally. Or perhaps you believe you are aleady addicted to it and you think about it far more than you should. But one thing is for sure, some people do become addicted to Nutella – even professional athletes.
Take Max Kruse for instance. He is a German footballer, playing for Wolfsburg and the German national team. According to media reports, he has recently been told by his manager that he must stop eating Nutella for breakfast, with immediate effect.
For most of us – those who don’t have managers and special diets we have to comply with – this instruction would probably be met with indifference or would be outright ignored. But as a professional sportsman, Kruse doesn’t have that luxury.
As far as the details in the press go, Kruse has been told to cut Nutella out completely. No more Nutella. None at all.
But surely, at a special occasion, for instance, he would be permitted a little mercy by his club. And this is where we come in.
What we suggest to Herr Kruser is that he proposes to his girlfreind, and hastily arranges a wedding. And as we all know, at a wedding, anything goes. There are no rules, no restrictions and no interference from bosses. It’s his day and no one can stop him doing exactly what he wants (except maybe his wife-to-be).
So after setting the date, the next stage involves sending us an email, and making arrangements to hire us to provide crepes at his wedding from our mobile creperie.
And we are sure he will be pleased to know that Nutella features prominently on the menu. We have plain Nutella, Nutella and banana and Nutella and fresh strawberry.
In fact what we would recommend in his case is that we just do away with the other 15 or so flavours we usually offer and instead, just have everything Nutella-related imaginable; with coconut; with cinnamon; with Milky Bar – Nutella with anything and everything.
So where could we feature at his wedding? He could hire us to provide the canapes. Or the dessert to the wedding breakfast. Or the evening food at the reception. If his love of Nutella is that great, he could even hire us to cover the entire day, serving unlimited Nutella crepes on the day of his wedding from sun-up to sun-down (and beyond).
So if Herr Kruse happens to be reading this, feel free to get in touch, we will be happy to provide you with a quote. With wages for footballers in Germany reportedly being high, we are sure you would find us affordable. Transport would not be an issue as we would not complain if you hired a private jet to transport us and our mobile crepe stand to your wedding in Germany.
Or perhaps you might consider getting married here in England or Scotland. We have some very nice venues, an unlimited supply of Nutella, and best of all, your manager would be a very, very, long way away.